Dear old friend.

To that one girl that use to make me smile,

I'm not writing this to make it on the top five.
I'm not writing this to get comments.
I'm writing it to get all of these thoughts out of my head. To get all of these broken pieces out of my chest.

Because I don't even know how to say hey to you anymore.
I don't even know how to not talk to you. I've typed "I miss you" on my phone more times than I can count but I can never hit send.
So I just sit there and stare. I stare until my throat gets stuffed and my heart starts to hurt.
Until it starts to ache.
And then it starts to bleed.. until i can't take it anymore, and I hit delete.

What I said to you. I wish i didn't mean it. I wish. but I did.
I wish you didn't pump up my heart just to watch it explode.
I wish I didn't still love you. But i do.
And I wish i wasn't able to still think about you every day. But I cant. But still, I wish.
We did it for the memories but I can't think about those memories without thinking about that one thing.

Oh god I hate that one thing with all my broken heart.

Yes i knew it was going to happen,
Yes you have your excuses but my heart doesn't care about them.
And you want to talk to me but I don't know what to say,



Because my heart cant talk.



P.S. i miss your smile

Becoming Joe

The average persons life expectancy is 75 years.
makes about 1.5 million in their life, and they spend more than half.
smiles about fifty times a day.
and more than half aren't satisfied with their lives.


That's what scares me.
becoming the average person.
to die and have no one remember my name.

So even though I don't know what i want to be when i grow up. I know what I don't want to be.
Average.

I want to be like Bob and be happy

I want to be like Neil and step places no ones ever stepped.

I want to be like Jimi and kiss the sky.

I want to kiss the sky. And I don't care if  it doesn't kiss me back. At least I'm trying to be someone doing something.




Because I'm going to die with more risks than regrets.



(and I will smile more than fifty times a day)

Life's important questions

The mushy thing thats in my head

We write to show whats on or minds. So these are the things that aren't on my mind.

                                               Expired Milk.

                                               The mail man.

Global Warning.

Loud Music.

What I eat.

The end of the world.

group texts.

what I look like.

where my keys are.

a job.

when my license expires.

politics.

alien invasions.

dying.

what other people think.

mistakes.

my handwriting.

Famous people.

        Math.

                                                          Math.

                                                                          what im wearing tomorrow.

                                                         Laughing to much.

                                                             The Illuminati.