Dear old friend.

To that one girl that use to make me smile,

I'm not writing this to make it on the top five.
I'm not writing this to get comments.
I'm writing it to get all of these thoughts out of my head. To get all of these broken pieces out of my chest.

Because I don't even know how to say hey to you anymore.
I don't even know how to not talk to you. I've typed "I miss you" on my phone more times than I can count but I can never hit send.
So I just sit there and stare. I stare until my throat gets stuffed and my heart starts to hurt.
Until it starts to ache.
And then it starts to bleed.. until i can't take it anymore, and I hit delete.

What I said to you. I wish i didn't mean it. I wish. but I did.
I wish you didn't pump up my heart just to watch it explode.
I wish I didn't still love you. But i do.
And I wish i wasn't able to still think about you every day. But I cant. But still, I wish.
We did it for the memories but I can't think about those memories without thinking about that one thing.

Oh god I hate that one thing with all my broken heart.

Yes i knew it was going to happen,
Yes you have your excuses but my heart doesn't care about them.
And you want to talk to me but I don't know what to say,



Because my heart cant talk.



P.S. i miss your smile